Hi Wanaexit, like many here, I understand your regret. Most people have regrets. Wounded war veterans, car crash victims, people from broken relationships, and many poor people who just didn’t get it right. If we hadn’t been Jehovah's Witnesses we may have made other mistakes. Each day is a gift to treasure and enjoy because however ‘well’ we do in life, time for each of us runs out anyway. The past no longer exists, there is only now. All the best.
The following is taken from: Can Jehovah's Witnesses survive - by Trevor Willis:
In my own case I was never disfellowshipped but slowly moved from the center of the organization to the edge as I became more and more disillusioned. It took many years to fully come to terms with the fact that what I had accepted as truth was in fact flawed. I tried to stay and do the minimum required of a member to still be called a brother. In the end I could no longer live a lie and at the age of thirty, finally left the Kingdom Hall for the last time.
Not one congregation member called to ask why I had left! They had realized from remarks I had made, that I had, in the words of the song, come to doubt all that I once held as true. Fortunately I was able to build a new life, with new friends and a happier outlook. Although I was never officially disfellowshipped my relatives, all of whom are Witnesses except one brother, continue to shun me.
For all those years I had been promised that I would never grow old and die but would live forever on earth, when it was turned into a paradise. I came to the realization that I was going to grow old and die like every other human. Coming to terms with the reality of so many wasted years, and learning to live outside the organization was a long hard climb. Accepting as worthwhile, people who I had previously condemned involved many emotional changes. Even so, I will never forget the friends and relatives whose affection I lost, along with the feeling of safety and certainty that belonging to the Watchtower Society's world brought me.